Surf & Safety Department (SSD)

Patrolling the currents and keeping the Coral Coast safe, the Surf & Safety Department is a squad of sharp-toothed enforcers who balance equal parts law, order, and laid-back beach-town hospitality. They’re the first to respond when things get rough in the reef — from buffering breakdowns to emote hoard busts — and while their size might intimidate, their bark (er, bite) is usually reserved for the real troublemakers.

The SSD isn’t just about rules, though. They pride themselves on being approachable, neighborly, and surprisingly bureaucratic for a group of sharks. Reports are filed in triplicate, tail-fins are polished before community events, and every officer is trained in both de-escalation and synchronized swimming for parade duty.

• Division Motto: “Keeping the tide safe, one wave at a time.”
• Tone: Think “small-town sheriff’s office meets coast guard,” with a bit of Andy Griffith charm, if Andy had a dorsal fin.
• Departments within SSD:
  • Currents Division – traffic control of the tides and channels.
  • Finvestigations Unit – undercover ops, though the disguises are terrible.
  • Shellphone Dispatch – crab-run switchboard for emergencies (always a little behind schedule).
  • Kelp-K9 Corps – actually sea otters, but don’t tell them that.

Citizens respect them, tourists fear them just a little, and troublemakers usually regret underestimating them.